Sabrina Poon said Friday, March 13 was the day things got real. The registered nurse who works at one of New York City’s top hospitals said, “That was a definitive day reality really started setting in. Multiple emotional meltdowns followed shortly after. I didn’t know what was going to happen at the hospital and what was going to happen to the city,” she told Ladders in May.
Though the New York native had experience in the ICU, it had been years. But as of early March, it was all hands on deck when it came to the beast that is coronavirus. “No matter where you were you were expected to treat COVID patients,” she said.
Every hospital is handling the influx of patients during this pandemic differently but Poon and her colleagues were immediately put through crash courses and being prepped as quickly as possible to get them back on the floors and treating patients. Though the knowledge on how to treat this deathly virus was still very unclear at that time.
“They were refamiliarizing us with skills that would be most relevant to the management of COVID patients, as far as we knew at the time.”
Many of the ICU patients go into a difficult-to-manage condition called ARDS (Acute respiratory distress syndrome) and when you’re away from the intensive care setting for a long time it takes time to get back into critical thinking mode. But we just had to jump into that so quickly. We did half a day in a course to cover things you take years practicing. A lot of these people didn’t have the background I had which is super scary when you think about it. But we looked out for each other. We had no choice. Who else was going to do it?“ she said.
She describes it as a sudden monsoon wave. One day they were taking a course and the next the hospital was filled with all COVID patients.
“By late March we were filled with all COVID patients and then we were taking more patients to try to relieve other hospitals’ overwhelmed patient loads.”
The PPE detective
Since February, Poon had begun realizing the particular importance of PPE with this virus and worrying about the country’s lack of supply. PPE is always essential but this virus is extra contagious. “I did my own detective work and tried to use any connections I could because there were so many things unanswered: not knowing why there was such a shortage of PPE and not knowing what the treatments were. And in the beginning, we didn’t know how bad it would affect healthcare workers. We were reading about their high death rates in Italy.“
Scary is the only way to describe the work environment as it was just a guessing game, in the beginning, to see how many of her colleagues would contract it. “In the beginning, some people were more careless about their PPE and just walking into rooms and fixing a ventilator with just a mask on and not wearing the gown and the shield but now we know you have to protect yourself first.
“Some people were less concerned than others but many of us were deep in research on how much PPE truly was necessary. We weren’t going to just rely on guidelines that were constantly changing, to risk them failing us, with the cost possibly being our lives.”
She says the PPE issue is much more under control now and she does feel secure in that if you practice proper hygiene and protocol it will be OK, for the most part (the more you take off and put off the mask the more you risk getting contaminated, she noted.)
However, wearing masks, shields, and goggles for hours a day comes with its own set of strains. Poon said she has been having facial pain (after all, she has a mask suctioned to her face the majority of the day) as well as skin issues. She also wears a full hazmat suit which she added not everyone does but “I’m not taking any risks.”
But none of that compares to seeing what patients are going through. “The hardest part is seeing people go through this and knowing that you can’t do anything else. Outside of this whole pandemic, it’s hard enough to see people sick and see them going through sometimes the hardest part of their lives, and now their families can’t even be there with them. We’ll hold the phone up to let the family Facetime and sometimes they are watching them die and sometimes they are just trying to say hello not knowing if their loved one can hear it because they are in a coma. There is nothing we can do about it but try our best. It’s awful. Even if you aren’t sick with COVID and you are in the hospital for surgery or other treatment, you can’t have someone with you.”
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PSA: YOU HAVE COVID19. No, this is not a joke. I am 99% sure this will be true for either you or someone you know by the end of this year, based on our current trajectory. . Many of us are already walking around with this disease, AND spreading it, & don’t even know it. We need to act based on this knowledge. I have spent the past days flipping this sideways & upside-down, working through feelings of fear for the people, fear for my colleagues & I, fear for what the public doesn’t know, & frustation with our leadership & lack thereof. . This country is NOT prepared, despite facts & numbers, despite several overworked ICU doctors from everywhere sending out warnings. The lack of awareness & acceptance for the gravity of this situation is alarming; all you have to do is read a quick article on the patterns Italy, China, & other countries have experienced to know we will soon be following the same path. As someone who is going to directly face & fight this monster, it truly enrages me that people have been lead to believe that this will soon “blow over.” . . This will last for months. We need to act NOW. So, what do we do? The bottom line is “Flattening the Curve,” aka: Social. Distancing. It seems simple but we have to do it properly. 1. Stay 6 feet or more away from others. . ➡️ While you’re at the grocery store worrying about starvation, you should probably be worrying more that you’re exposing yourself in the panicked crowds. 2. Stay away from others 3. Stay the f* home 4. Got it? We as Americans have been cultivated to believe we are invincible, elite, & superior, so much so that the people have a false sense of security. . Many of you have heard doctors & nurses likening this experience to being “drafted to the war.” Maybe if you were on the front lines you’d care a little bit more. . But I’ve got news for you. The “not my problem” attitude won’t work for you on this one. . Because it WILL be your problem. (If it isn’t already). Please. Let’s slow down the impending collapse of our system. References linked in my stories, but here are quick snaps from my favorite overall article on this pandemic. (Via @medium by Tomas Pueyo)
Even those of us not working on the front lines feel eternally bonded to our coworkers for sharing this weird experience. Imagine what it’s like for Poon and her coworkers who are risking their lives when they go to the “office”. “Anyone will tell you that everyone has really worked hard as a team and everyone has put all efforts in. We all had the understanding that we’re all at risk and there is no room to deal with the insignificant. There is no room for negativity. So everyone is supporting each other. We’re all in the same boat. No one has experience with this and no one enjoys it,” she said.
In the now
Poon was careful to say that though things have calmed down a bit at the hospital and she is back to seeing non-COVID patients this month, she stresses that we are not out of the woods when it comes to this pandemic. However, unlike in March and April Poon is now trying to practice self-care through exercise, rest, and, of course, wine. “I didn’t do a lot of it in the first month because of researching and updating social media and I was so consumed in that. But in the last two weeks, it’s been better. So I’ve done zoom workouts, skincare, lots of wine but sleep is the No.1 most important thing. If you don’t have that that’s when your body can’t fight off infection.”
Poon is also an influencer and used her platform, to update people on what was really happening in the hospitals with PPE and also educate them. “I felt this topic was not getting enough attention. I was doing the research from the beginning because it was affecting my work and then sharing to educate. I felt it was super important.”
And yes, if you are wondering if all those healthcare workers in New York City are listening to your applause, they are (but sometimes they are working when it is happening.) “It’s pretty cool to know everyone is supporting you,” she told Ladders. “In the beginning, the smallest amount of positivity felt so big.”
Though I would be taking a victory lap while wearing my scrubs at 7 PM every night, Poon said she is ok with waving from her window on her days off. She can hear the applause just fine as she looks down at her city.