The art of getting what you want, from a former hostage negotiator

Most of us will never be in a situation where we have to negotiate as if our lives depended on it.

Even so, according to a former international hostage negotiator, putting yourself in a high pressure scenario is key to getting what you want, every time. This may just come in handy in our personal and professional lives.

In Never Split The Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It, best-selling author and the FBI’s former lead international kidnapping negotiator, Chris Voss walks readers through exactly how to negotiate and persuade just about anyone in order to get exactly what we want.

Life as a ‘series of negotiations’

According to Voss, whether you’re a hostage negotiator, a teacher, or an office employee, life is a series of negotiations that everyone must be prepared for.

Whether you’re buying a car, negotiating a salary, reasoning with a partner, or something in between, Voss urges that emotional intelligence and intuition is the key that we need in order to unlock our own competitive edge in any discussion or situation.

While it might sound intense or scary, the Former FBI Hostage Negotiator tackles negotiation and persuasion training with a friendly and approachable edge — making the art of negotiation something that’s easily attainable for anyone willing to take the time to learn the tricks required to really own a next level emotional intelligence and self awareness.

Master the art of negotiating

Never Split The Difference expertly navigates field-tested ways to approach negotiation using a combination of war stories that Voss has collected over his impressive career and theoretical ideas that anyone can relate to.

The comprehensive guide features nine effective principles that allow readers to become more persuasive, master the art of negotiating, and get what they want whether in your professional life or their personal life.

Throughout the book, Voss takes the time to lay out exactly how and what to do in order to get what you want out of a given situation, using real life practices that he honed during his time in the FBI. Tricks range from “mirroring” the other person’s behavior, using tactical empathy, asking strategic questions, and other non-obvious tactics that help negotiate what you’re after.

‘Understanding’ at the core of negotiation

That’s not to say that Voss is encouraging you to take advantage of your boss or your partner, nor does he advocate for using mind games to get what you want at any cost. 

In fact, Never Split The Difference, at its core, is really about learning to better understand the people around you.

The 24 year veteran of the FBI is quick to point out that negotiation and persuasion is all about understanding others — what they might be trying to get out of the situation or what their needs really are. As such, Voss’ approach to negotiation will not only strengthen your ability to persuade in the workplace or at home but also to help meet the needs of anyone in your network who might be in need of help or assistance.

Whether you’re hoping to become more confident in negotiating your salary and raises, you’re hoping to equip yourself with the tools needed to get a better deal on your new car or home, or you’re simply looking for efficient ways to improve your communication with your partner or family, Never Split The Difference is a particularly impressive book that will bolster the confidence of even the most shy or introverted of readers.