9 anti-skills you didn’t know were holding you back

Anti-skills are when something that usually seems like a good workplace habit or skill can slip into something that’s holding you back. Here are nine anti-skills that could be stalling you, even if you don’t realize it yet.

1. Empathetic vs flip-flopping

Seeing both sides of an argument can be compelling, and a skilled boss is one that can analyze every aspect of an argument while staying flexible. But if you can’t make a decision for the life of you, your considerateness could be an anti-skill.

Experts note that an indecisive boss can have deeper-seated issues than just their general inability to make a choice. They can come off as needy, or insecure, and they might require a lot of support from their employees before taking steps to accomplish goals. So even if you think that your indecisiveness isn’t that big of a deal, it could be making you look weak in the eyes of your co-workers.

2. Confident vs arrogant

Confidence in the workplace is good, especially if you find yourself surrounded by the aforementioned flip-floppers. Someone’s got to make a decision, you tell yourself, and if no one else will do it, I will. However, if you start to let your confidence overtake your sensibilities, you could be turning into an arrogant person.

Arrogance holds you back in a number of ways. While confidence shows that you trust in your own abilities, HR research firm SHRM notes that arrogance is actually a defense mechanism against feeling incompetent, unheard, or apprehensive. If you feel like you’re slipping into an arrogant mindset, a good way to delineate between the two is to begin asking for and accepting feedback and resolving to remain open to others’ suggestions.

3. Multitasking vs distracted

Multitasking is a skill, but once you start doing too many things at once, your multitasking might turn into an underhanded way to keep yourself distracted. Studies show that multitasking too much can have a devastating effect on productivity, and if you’re not careful, you might step out of your flow zone and down into a rabbit hole of funny cat videos without realizing it.

Career advice forums have many recommendations for regaining focus, but in general, the easiest and most straightforward way to keep from being distracted is to stop doing so many things at once. Whether it’s checking your phone, looking at emails, or surfing multiple internet browser tabs, you can always minimize distractions by focusing on and completing one task at a time rather than attempting to do four things at once.

4. Fun vs unreliable

You might be known by some as easygoing or “the fun boss.” But don’t start to become flaky, unreliable, or erratic, as it could cause issues between you and your co-workers or employees.

Being a wild and crazy savant in the workplace can start out entertaining, and the “fun bosses” of TV and film make a name for themselves leaving the office to go golfing or turning in deliverables weeks late with a charming smile. However, the Harvard Business Review notes that in real life, a fun, flaky superior or co-worker could be engaging in unethical behavior, and their unpredictable streak could be damaging the company, and influencing those around them negatively.

5. People pleaser vs dishonest

If you’ve ever told a coworker that they were doing a great job when they were only doing a decent job, you might think of yourself as someone who’s just trying to make a teammate’s day a little brighter. However, while people like someone who breaks bad news easily or doesn’t share all of the unnecessary details of an interaction, make sure that you aren’t lying by omission just to keep confrontation at bay.

Little white lies could be holding you back more than you think; they could also be holding back your entire team. An article from Forbes notes that a dishonest leader could foster dishonest company culture, and lead employees into being dishonest as well, even if it’s about little things that don’t seem to matter.

6. Nice vs passive-aggressive

Yet another person who seeks to avoid confrontation, the passive-aggressive anti-skill is one that plagues a nice person who seeks to avoid criticizing their coworkers too heavily. The difference between passive aggressiveness and dishonesty is that a dishonest coworker is attempting to protect their teammate’s feelings, while the passive-aggressive coworker is trying to protect their own feelings, and how others will perceive them.

Ultimately, passive aggression can manifest in a number of different ways, like withdrawing or sulking, making inappropriate personal comments during meetings, withholding important information about projects or chronically “forgetting” deadlines. The worst part is that if you are a passive-aggressive person, you wouldn’t realize that you’re passive-aggressive, and if confronted by the notion, it could result in further issues of defensiveness and anger.

7. Tenacious vs stubborn

Are you the most persistent person on your team? Do bosses and underlings alike describe you as someone with a dogged tenacity to win? You might be stubborn – and proud of it. Just make sure that you don’t start to become too stubborn, as if you begin to discard everyone else’s opinions entirely, your own work could suffer.

Business education firm Insead notes that there’s a fine line between stubbornness and stupidity and that undoing stubbornness can be a long, grueling process. In the same way that someone with the anti-skills of arrogance or passive-aggressiveness might not see themselves as having skidded down a harmful slippery slope, a stubborn person will truly believe that their stubbornness is an attribute, not an anti-skill.

8. Mellow vs apathetic

The anti-skill of apathy fits hand-in-hand with flip-flopping. Sometimes, not having a stake in the game can result in level-headed insight from an unbiased source. But if you find yourself not really caring about much, and letting your co-workers do all the deciding, you could be apathetic instead of just easy-going.

The main feature of apathy is that typically, someone who’s apathetic used to care quite a bit about whatever it is they’re indifferent about now. The psychological term for someone who is chronically feeling apathetic about things that brought them joy is anhedonia, which is a serious sign of depression. While most anti-skills are behavioral and can be undone with persistent monitoring, the anti-skill of apathy might require a little more professional help.

9. Mindful vs discriminatory

It’s good to be mindful of the social issues of the day in the workplace and to provide opportunities to people from all walks of life. But if taken to the extreme, your intent to be inclusive might be unknowingly reinforcing stereotypes of your coworkers. Studies show that if brought up too frequently, prejudices could ultimately become more mentally accessible for many people, and cause them to think about race at a rate that might interfere with their interpersonal communication.

Although mindfulness and inclusivity are important for any modern workplace, discrimination ironically undoes any progress made. If you find yourself beginning to judge both white and non-white coworkers by the color of their skin rather than the content of their character, your perceived progressiveness could be an anti-skill.