3 core components of happiness

Happiness is an inside job. You have more control over your happiness than you think. And no, it’s not all about how much you earn.

In her book The How of Happiness, positive psychology researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky describes happiness as “the experience of joy, contentment, or positive well-being, combined with a sense that one’s life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile.”

Your happiness level is determined by daily meaningful actions and what you look forward to in life. The clues to your happiness are hidden in what you do daily.

“The three components of happiness are something to do, someone to love, and something to look forward to,” writes Dr Gordon Livingston, in his book, “Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart: Thirty True Things You Need to Know Now”.

Something meaningful to do

“The secret of happiness is something to do.” — John Burroughs

Your work has two impacts on your life. It’s either making you miserable or bringing out the best in you. Many people are not lucky to find meaning or fulfillment at work, so they create passion projects.

Something that allows them to express themselves creatively and help them find flow or some level of happiness. If you have valuable or meaningful work, you will look forward to each day.

If you are pursuing work that gives you a sense of significance, it’s hard to be miserable. However, if you haven’t found meaning in what you do, it’s not too late to dig deeper into yourself and discover projects, activities and creative pursuits that will allow you to express yourself fully.

Once you find that, it’s hard to be unhappy. Finding work in life (paid or unpaid)that excites you changes everything. It’s one of the few significant paths to happiness.

Someone to connect with

“There is no happiness like that of being loved by your fellow creatures, and feeling that your presence is an addition to their comfort.” ― Charlotte Brontë

Humans are profoundly social. We thrive on connections and relationships. A network of authentic social relationship ( family and friends) can make you happy.

“Close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives,” according to a Harvard study.

People are capable of bringing out the best and worst in you. Those closest to you are the key to your happiness. It’s your responsibility to nurture relationships that support positive mental health.

Who do you spend the most time with and why? Think about how social connections make you feel every time you are around them.

Get closer to those who accept you for who you are without judgment. And those you genuinely connect with on a deeper level. They are crucial to your long term happiness.

Something or an experience to look forward to

“Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.” ― Aristotle

What events, activities, and experiences do you really look forward to every week, month or year? What life-changing plans are you looking forward to next week, month or year? These are all clues to happiness.

Happiness is a personal experience. Events we are expecting in the future can trigger happy hormones. That’s why many psychologists and therapists recommend their clients book holidays in advance to have Something to look forward to.

You don’t have to book a vacation to be happy. You can make your weekends awesome. Make it worth looking forward to, and that feeling could carry you through the week.

Future events and experiences build up anticipation, which can put you in a good mood for a very long time. Use them to create happy memories.

You can do more for your happiness by asking yourself these questions:

What kind of life do I want? What experiences, activities and events boost happiness in my life right now? Once you identify what makes you happy, cherish every moment of those experiences.

According to cognitive psychologist Daniel Kahneman, happiness is “what I experience here and now”.

True happiness comes from meaningful work, social connections and exciting experiences we look forward to. So find your sources of joy and do everything in your power to fight for your happiness.

In the long-term, happy life comes down to leveraging what’s in your control, doing more of what makes you a happy human (whether you are paid for it not) and letting go of too many illusions of what guarantees happiness in the future.

Genuine happiness comes from the willingness to live life to the fullest regardless of what you have or don’t have. It’s a choice. And remember what Joel Osteen once said, “You can be happy where you are.”

This article first appeared on Medium.