Willpower. You have it. You are dedicated. You start with the best intentions. And then you fizzle out. So, you start changing things just for the sake of change – thinking change is better than doing nothing. And you soon find out that the same old feelings loom and the same behaviors repeat – just in another setting. You feel overwhelmed.
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What is the feeling you are running from? I hope you know because it is taking up a lot of space in your head that you would rather fill with joy. It is robbing you of peace and lacing your days and nights with anxiety. You might think it is fear of failure. But what will happen if you fail? What is the ultimate, deep down devastating result that could happen? You lose the love of those who matter? You will be alone? You’ll be powerless? Isn’t it time you stopped practicing failure in advance in your head?
You know you are on the treadmill to nowhere when you repeat the same thoughts and actions and the only result you realize is exhaustion. Schedule a regular night out with your partner or a friend. Get up 10 minutes early and meditate, read a daily inspirational passage, stretch or do another physical activity. Keep a gratitude journal. Start a craft or hobby.
Mindfully notice your thoughts from a third-party perspective without judging yourself. Build your self-awareness by noticing the patterns and feelings in your life. Write them down. Name them. Familiarity with discomfort without judgment diffuses its negative energy. “This is what it’s like to feel anxious about changing jobs.” The fear you are afraid to lean in to is running your life, cluttering your ambitions with noise, and keeping you from finishing what is important. Notice it. Name it. Tell someone about it. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and curious about it. And don’t judge yourself. Tell yourself, “I feel uneasy. May I be gentle with myself in this moment.”
Release Your ‘Need’ to Hold On
We think we want to move on. And then something holds us back. We even can name someone or something to blame for that. That reason is an excuse. The real impediment to not finishing what we start is that we have some intrinsic need for things to remain the same. You claim you want to diet, but you figure because your intention is good its ok to start it tomorrow. And then tomorrow you have the same excuse when deep down you have a ‘need’ to remain in a state of needing more because your perception is that more is better. You may want a promotion and claim a bad boss is the reason you aren’t getting it when your ‘need’ is to remain a victim, preventing you from being a creator of your destiny. “I release my need for _____.”
Believe You Deserve
We live in the space where we believe we belong. If we believe we don’t belong we won’t belong. If we believe we do belong, we will find a way to fit in. Walk with confidence. Know that you are worthy and deserve the very thing you are working toward.
Often, we have spent so much time disappointed that we forget what it’s like to anticipate success. Consciously invite the feeling of success into your life like a friend. Imagine what it will be like to achieve what you want. Have a concrete vision. Who is there? What are they saying and doing? How are you feeling in this situation?
Mary Lee Gannon, ACC, CAE is an executive coach and corporate CEO who helps busy leaders get off the treadmill to nowhere to be more effective, earn more, be more calm and enjoy connected relationships with the people who matter while it still matters. Watch her FREE Master Class training on Three Things to Transform Your Life and Career Right Now at www.MaryLeeGannon.com.
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