Not too long ago Ladders came across a study premised by the foremost priorities sketching the current romance landscape. By and large, Millennials and Gen Zers are in no rush to tie the knot, make more people or talk to each other about money. The results from a new Today.com survey, suggest that these are the exact factors that make older partners especially appealing.
When the pool of men that exclusively date older women were asked why they do so, the median responses were as follows: Older women are “self-assured, self-confident, sharp conversationalists who are not just focused on starting a family, and have more life experience, emotionally stability, grounding, and can offer both honesty and different perspectives.”
One respondent was put through a “young woman trial period” wherein he was tasked with going on a date with a woman in her twenties at a hip, cool people bar. He was not into it. Namely the laborious challenge of “trying to have a meaningful conversation over blaring music at a dance club.” Even without the noise, this precocious curmudgeon felt that younger women were immature and employed too many “head games.” “Younger women just don’t allow me to grow in the ways older women do,” he continued. For many young poachers, five years isn’t a big enough gap. Ten years or bust.
It seems to be a symbiotic relationship. Where the young men are gaining a sense of confidence, the older women report a reinvigorated sense of autonomy and validation. A new study helmed by Dr. Milaine Alarie at the Institut National de la Research Scientifique examined 55 women aged 30 to 60 who reported being in relationships with younger men.
In addition to the extra energy not found in companions their own age, the respondents felt more comfortable with a younger partner, Dr. Sarah Hunter Murray told Psychology Today, “Women also described feeling less preoccupied about rigid beauty standards that may have been restrictive earlier on in their lives. Some women described feeling more comfortable with their bodies now than they might have been when they were younger.”
More importantly, as the authors of both reports conclude: However one goes about achieving relational equality, is their prerogative, and it shouldn’t be stifled by irrelevant details. Presuming age preferences aren’t energized by predatory behavior, pounce and poach in good health.
What is a ‘cougar’?
I had some fun googling the term “cougar” – sans SafeSearch. According to the fine folks over at UrbanDictionary, it’s one of the most misused classifications of the 21st century. A “cougar” specifically refers to a lady between the ages of 40 and 49 who prefers much younger men. She becomes a jaguar in her fifties, a panther in her sixties, and if she’s still on the hunt past 100 years old she’s officially a lioness.
Not to suggest that the distinction is always complimentary. In the case of Stella Payne of Stella Got Her Groove Back, “cougar” is absolutely meant to be an empowering allusion, but in The Graduate, it’s a pejorative – the scheming Mrs. Robinson is preying on Ben Braddock.
The conditional rules apply outside of the silver screen too, though, I think people are beginning to appraise antiquated dating clauses more and more meanly.