3 steps to the life you want: Why achieving happiness is not an impossible task

Do you ever look around at friends, family, colleagues, or the people you grew up with and wonder why their lives appear to be more successful than yours? Why you don’t quite measure up, while others seem to be so happy and in control? Why every self-help book or therapist fails to lead you to the positive results promised?

There are three reasons why this is the case. Actually, it’s more like three steps — three specific actions that can turn the life you want from an “impossible dream” task to something that’s achievable (and eventually, achieved).

If you’re wondering how such a system can work when so many other things don’t, here’s the answer: a uniformity in results.

These three steps stem from years of observational work regarding success, accomplishment, and fulfillment. It comes after studying people from all walks of life, all different backgrounds, and all different versions of what the happy life means.

After boiling it all down, however, there was always a single greatest factor that separated those who had the life they wanted and the ones who didn’t. What was it?

The belief that they deserved to have that very life they wanted. You see, when you flip the switch in your life from undeserving to deserving, the procrastination and self-sabotage that plagued your other endeavors suddenly disappear. Your pathway, support, energy, and inspiration suddenly come alive.

The Deserving Belief is the missing answer to the life you want and the three steps put you on the path towards creating yours today.

Step 1: Change is needed

The first step is being aware change is needed. It’s easy to stay complacent after years of your life looking and feeling the same. But if you take an honest look at the most important areas of your life, important questions start to come up, like:

  • Am I under mounting debt and feel there’s no way out?
  • Do I feel trapped in an unfulfilling marriage?
  • Do I rely on medication to dull daily pains and poor health?
  • Do I want life to be more joyful, but nothing works?

Now write down exactly what is and isn’t acceptable to you about your current life and how you would like it to be.

Step 2: Give permission

Give yourself permission to believe you deserve having what you want.

Trust me, it’s much harder than it sounds. Think about it – parents, caregivers, friends, and authorities influence and shape your deserving belief patterns from birth to adulthood. Maybe you were convinced you didn’t deserve a lifestyle or happiness greater than your parents had. Maybe juicy perfume ads or romantic comedies you’ve grown up watching made you feel that you could never meet certain relationship ideals.

Other people’s expectations end up influencing your own, especially at a young age. But you can counteract this by finally giving yourself permission to call those influences what they are – not true. After all, you already know of people whose lives are fulfilling, so you’ve already seen examples of people who gave themselves permission to walk away from the baggage of childhood and adolescence.

Once you give yourself permission (and truly believe it, every day), you will be charged up for this final step.

Step 3: The Deserving Process

In as little as 20 minutes a day from the comfort of your home, without breaking a sweat or needing anyone else, you can complete step three: The Deserving Process. This three-part process helps you access that internal belief change from undeserving to deserving each and every day. Especially on the days where you feel like you just don’t have it in you.

As days and weeks go by you will start to see your outward situations changing. People will start to react to you differently, life’s serendipities and synchronicities will align to assist you on your path, giving you the inspiration you need to go forward and reach the life you want.

Everything begins to change when you commit to this daily 20-minute process. First, you must choose the area of your life you want to apply it to, and give yourself permission that you are allowed to believe you deserve what you want (steps one and two).

What has eluded you for years is not permanent. You have more control, than you can ever understand, of the conditions and circumstances of your life and how you feel every day. But you must act on changing, creating and strengthening your deserving belief.

Remember – you don’t have the life you deserve, but the life you believe you deserve.

Dr. Josh Wagner is a mindset coach, international speaker and consultant to renowned doctors and their staffs around the world. After building a successful private practice in New York City, Dr. Wagner began to shift his focus to help others achieve their goals to have richer and better lives through his revolutionary Deserving Process.