Real men understand these 3 truths about life

Men need to understand a lot of things.

If we’re talking about success, men need to understand that success can be defined in an infinite amount of ways.

If we’re talking about attracting the “ideal partner,” men need to understand that “ideal” is always a reflection of where you’re at in life — and also, what emotional state you’re bringing to the table, yourself.

If we’re talking historically and philosophically, men need to understand that patterns always repeat themselves, and the best way to predict the future is to study the past.

All men need to understand a lot of things in order to become their best selves while here on earth.

But here are 3 truths every man needs to understand about life sooner than later:

1. Success is a paradox

The more you achieve, the more you will want to achieve.

The more you will want to achieve, the easier it will be to see others as “below” you — and push them away.

The more you push them away, the smaller your circle gets. The less opportunities present themselves. The more you begin to live in emotional isolation.

The fewer opportunities present themselves, the less you can become externally successful.

The more you begin to live in emotional isolation, the less you feel fulfilled.

Success, and the constant conquest of, is a paradox.

The bigger you get, the harder you need to work on remaining small.

2. If you cannot find love, it’s because you have not unlocked love within yourself

Love is a reflection.

When you are “in love,” what you’re really feeling is your own openness.

It is impossible to love someone else fully without being able to also fully receive their love. It’s symbiotic.

People who “can’t find love” think it’s about the other person. They think they just can’t find anyone good enough.

In reality, they are not taking ownership of the emotions they themselves are bringing to the table — how open they are, willing, vulnerable.

If you want to find love, you have to first reveal your own love.

In a nutshell: it’s the classic chicken before the egg scenario. What comes first? Should someone else love you first, before you can give your own love? Or should you willingly open your heart, and keep it open until someone willingly receives it — and gives it back?

3. Showing your “dominance” only ends up revealing weakness

From one of my favorite movies, American Gangster: “The loudest one in the room is the weakest one in the room.”

As you get older as a man, you start to realize that it’s the men who feel the constant need to try to prove themselves that are actually the weakest. They need everyone to know how successful they are, how wealthy they are, how powerful they are, how “confident” they are.

Little do they know, however, that anyone with a honed sense of self-awareness and a careful eye can see right through their facade.

Confidence isn’t found in a gold watch or an expensive car. It’s not found in a promotion, a title, a fatter paycheck. It’s not found with status, or achievement, or by “defeating” someone else.

True confidence is a low hum that exists in who you are, the energy you exude, and your willingness to be open to the world.

Someone who is open has nothing to fear.

Thanks for reading! 🙂

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This article first appeared on Medium.