How to present your ideas to a resistant colleague or boss

Every professional can relate to the struggle of putting an idea forward only to have it shot down. And it’s especially frustrating when it’s an idea you truly believe in when it comes to improving things at work.

The following approach will help you present your ideas — and boost your emotional intelligence and negotiation skills in the process.

1. Know when it’s the right time

“There’s a difference between a brainstorming session, where all ideas are welcome, and when you are making a suggestion that you hope will be implemented. When you’re presenting a new idea, it means that something at work isn’t working as well as it could,” says Debra Roberts, LCSW, conversation expert and developer of the Relationship Protocol® communication model.

“To make sure others hear your suggestion, you need to be strategic in your thinking and your presentation.”

While you can’t win all battles, you should put the best chances on your side by adequately preparing for a potentially challenging conversation with a resistant colleague — or, worse — boss.

“It is crucial to prepare ahead of time so that you come across as confident and informed. You want to be seen as a valuable part of the team — as someone who is contributing to the good of the whole and not tearing a colleague down. You want to be seen as someone who cares about your coworkers and the organization,” says Roberts.

2. Develop a plan and expect negative feedback

Developing a plan is obvious, but what should that plan entail? It’s so easy for things to go sideways in a conversation, and there is only so much you can control. So you want to plan for different possibilities, which will help you remain focused yet flexible and give you the ability to adapt to the interaction in real-time.

“What do you want the other person to take away from your conversation? Are you open to hearing their feedback and talking about their point of view? How do you make the strongest case for your idea? What are some valid criticisms of your idea? Are you prepared for negative feedback?” says Roberts.

Thinking of the worst-case scenario will arm you with the tools to respond without getting defensive and digging yourself into a hole.

“If you are unsure how you would respond to negative comments, think about the kinds of questions or comments others might raise and decide in advance how you will respond. Instead of getting defensive, ask questions to learn more about the other person’s perspective. That will not only help you see how to make your idea stronger, but it will also buy you time to collect your thoughts.”

3. Approach people with appreciation and specifics

When it comes to difficult conversations, tone is crucial, especially if you’re presenting an idea to a resistant boss. Kicking the conversation off with a display of appreciation and tying in specifics such as data points will help you make your case diplomatically.

“Start by letting your boss know that your job and the company are important to you and that you appreciate them taking the time to meet with you. Introduce the idea by stating your intentions first to ease their mind,” says Roberts.

She suggests saying something like “I came up with this plan because I think it will help our workflow. I know this is an ongoing problem, and I want to be a part of the solution.”

And, if you can bring some specific data to back up your ideas, that’s even better.

4. Always assume positive intent

Getting ready to present an idea to a resistant colleague or boss implies you probably have learned to expect a certain type of response from them. But it’s so important to always assume positive intent and give them the benefit of the doubt, says Roberts:

“Whenever you are talking to a resistant person, approach them by giving them the benefit of the doubt that they also want to have a positive outcome. Speak to them from the perspective of being on the same team and looking forward to hearing their thoughts on your ideas. Be open. Actively listen to their comments, suggestions, and concerns without getting defensive. Let them know that you would like to work with them to find the best solution.”

5. Listen intently no matter what

The key to getting buy-in sometimes lies in not giving up after your first attempt. And if you stop listening after the first no, you miss out on a key opportunity to gather info and build a more compelling argument later on.

“If you know that the conversation might not end well, remind yourself to stay in control and not lose your cool. Even if they reject your idea outright, you might be able to get a better understanding of why they are resisting your idea so you can make an even more compelling case later”

6. Stay focused on your goal

Finally, you don’t want to make the conversation about winning an argument or being right, says Roberts.

“That doesn’t make the other person feel good or want to talk to you in the future. Also, don’t shut the other person out. It’s important to listen to them and connect with their experience.”

So remember your ideal outcome, keep an open mind and open ears, and you might just end up becoming more persuasive to your resistant audience.