How to handle the cleanup when you lose your cool at work

What do you do if you lose your cool and blow up at your employees as Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot did in an embarrassing and angry email that’s been widely circulated on the Internet recently? There are intuitive answers — step back, breathe, think about your next move — and then there are smart next moves that would not dawn on everyone.

We asked Tom Gimbel, CEO of the LaSalle Network consulting firm, and an expert in staffing relationships, to offer tips so you don’t further destroy any relationships (or morale) that may have had a chance of being salvaged. 

Understand what caused the outburst

“The first step is to take an objective look at the situation and assess the potential damage,” Gimbel says.

Before you make any drastic moves, it’s imperative you understand the gravity of the situation and realize what has — or has not — been done. Your existing reputation will have a significant impact on how forgiving your employees will be.

If you have an excellent track record as a leader and this was an out-of-character misstep, it may be relatively easy to overcome.

However, if you have a history of lashing out, you may have a long road ahead of you. You need to fully understand what bothered you so much that you lost your cool.

Are there underlying issues you need to deal with, such as problems at home or in your personal life? By addressing the root cause of the issue, you can move towards fixing the work problems.

Face the people head-on

“After you’ve had some time to reflect,” Gimbel says, “it’s important to address the situation with the people involved. That may mean an apology — or it may not.” Keep in mind, you are apologizing for how you handled the problem, not the reason you were frustrated to begin with. 

An apology is not an excuse session. It’s a time to be honest about what made you upset and your regret for how you handled it. Giving others insight into what was bothering you can help them understand it.

Address the problem, not just the outburst

There may have been a legitimate reason for a problem in the workplace. An apology will address your behavior, but an apology does not negate the work issue. After an apology, you may still need to address the problems in the workplace calmly and directly. 

Avoid focusing on the outburst in future conversations and don’t feel the need to apologize over and over again. It’s done and over with, and your focus should be on how to avoid losing your cool in the future.

Give it time

Depending on the size and amount of cleanup you need to do, it may take time for employees to get back to trusting you. Just because you were able to move on doesn’t mean others are willing to forgive and move forward. There may be grudges and other negative behaviors that linger on. 

It’s important to remain consistent and focused on professionalism and on treating others with dignity and respect from now on. In more complex situations, your human resources department may need to be involved in helping quell any ongoing conflicts or issues that are not resolved in a timely manner.

Gimbel reminds us that “in more serious situations, where some sort of disciplinary action is taken, it may take more time to rebuild your reputation.”

Rebuild your reputation, focusing on the future

What’s done is done, and there’s no use dwelling on the past. Focus on the future and how you will avoid losing your cool when similar issues arise and trigger you. Being a leader and supervisor brings unique challenges, and it’s up to you to navigate them in a professional manner.