A complete guide to every line of dialogue spoken on ‘The Office’

NBC

The US Office is well on its way to surpassing Austin Powers and Borat for the most pervasive quotes mantle. There’s so many to choose from. There’s Dwight’s mob of “falses. Stanley Hudson’s classic “Yes, I have a dream, and it’s not some MLK dream for equality, “and, of course, Michael Scott’s tone-deaf succession of “that’s what she said,” tags.

In mourning of Dunder Mifflin’s departure from Netflix, Ladders teamed up with SimpleTexting to pretend our farewell binge sessions were in the service of productivity. Pulling together the complete dialogue from all nine seasons, the marketing gyros produced an in-depth analysis of your favorite inept paper pushers, adding:

“In homage to the greatest show that has ever aired, we decided to step away from our day to day work for a moment and dedicate some time to analyzing one of the best aspects of the show in our opinion – the dialogue. Though not on a TV screen, we deal with words on a daily basis. When you think about, marketing is similar to writing a TV script in that it’s all about crafting a message that will resonate with your audience. The Office really hits the nail on the head there, so as marketers the show is an inspiration for us. ”

“I talk a lot. I’ve learned to tune myself out.”

 

Before we unpack the running gags, we’ll start by tallying up the number of words spoken by each character throughout the show. It should come as no surprise that Michael Scott ends up receiving the most onscreen dialogue even though he appears in two seasons less than most of his fellow cast members. Scott has nearly double the number of lines as Dwight, who resides at No.2 on our list and Jim, Pam, and Andy rounds out the remainder of the top five.

In fairness, 20 lines of Scott’s allotment were “that’s what she said jokes,” which is the most of any other character in the show by far. Pam and Dwight tied for the number two spot, each managing three NSFW zingers over the course of a decade. Thirty-four “that’s what she said” lines appear in the series collectively.

Further inspection of these tally’s allowed us to rank the characters by core personality traits. First off we nominate Stanley Hudson with the pessimism Dundy. Hudson takes the cake with the most negative lines of dialogue followed by Meredith Palmer and Angela Martin, who might have been number one if not for all of the husky references to her harem of cats.

Next, winning the intelligence Dundy, a distinction calculated via the Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level Formula, is David Wallace, followed by “good ole” Gabe Lewis, and Michael’s pseudo-flame Jan Levinson.

Similarly to the UK iteration of the series that kicked everything off, the characters in the US show are dynamic and experience growth over time. Below is a list of the most positive seasons for each respective Scaranite.

 

“Lastly, we enter into what we consider the most fun part of our analysis – looking at the frequency at which certain characters make various references. Note: you must be a true fan of The Office to really appreciate some of these. ”

 

The long-lasting appeal of The Office (both iterations) has all to do with the pageantry of the mundane. You could probably count the number of different sets with one, yet America can stop revising.   “There’s a lot of beauty in ordinary things. Isn’t that kind of the point?” Only a true fan knows who said that.

Mathematically, you could binge the office 133 times in full before it leaves Netflix at the end of 2020, but if you cut out sleep you could fit even more in. (That’s what she said.)