“How do you turn your life around when everything falls apart?”
First things first.
Before you can accomplish anything in the present you must first eradicate your guilt and shame about the past.
In this question, you asked “How do you turn your life around when everything falls apart”
Not, “How can I transform my life and achieve my dreams”
This question is coming from a place of pain and scarcity and I’ll be honest with you … I get it.
Life can be brutal at times and it can feel like there’s no hope.
But it’s in times like this where you must shift your focus from the sh*t storm happening around you and behind you and instead focus on the rainbow and pot of gold that you’re moving towards.
With that out of the way here is a simple 7 step formula to turn things around when it all goes wrong.
Step 1: Double down on your health and fitness
Whenever life gets crazy, the first thing that takes a hit is our health and fitness.
When we get stressed at work or at home, it’s easy to slack off in the gym, eat more comfort foods, and generally abandon our well being.
If things are falling apart in your life then THE most important thing that you can do to get your life back on track is to:
- Lift heavy weights 4X a week and sprint once a week
- Eat a whole foods diet with only one serving of meat a day
- Sleep 8–9 hours a night
- Prioritize rest, relaxation, and recovery
You won’t be able to find a solution to your problems if you are constantly stressed out, low energy, and lethargic.
High achievement (in any area of life) is a direct result of high levels of energy and enthusiasm.
Before you move onto the next step, I want you to write down three ways you’re going to prioritize your health TODAY and leave your response in the comments below.
You can’t pull yourself out of the rut you’re in without great health. Reclaim your fitness and vitality, and you’ll reclaim your life.
Step 2: Express daily gratitude for what you already have
This response probably pisses you off… And I get it.
When the crap hits the fan the last thing anyone wants to hear is “Be grateful for what you have”.
But it’s true.
The fact that you even have a device where you can ask this question here on Quora shows me that you have something to be grateful for.
If you have a roof over your head, food in your stomach, and breath in your lungs, then you have something to be grateful for … Period.
Starting today, I want you to commit to 30 days of ZERO complaining and daily gratitude. Keep a journal next to your bed and write down five things you’re grateful for every morning and evening.
I promise it will change your life.
Step 3: Commit to Kaizen
When life is falling apart around us it’s easy to get so caught up in our own story that we can’t see the forest through the trees.
The fact of the matter is that, whatever you are going through right now, no matter how bad… It will pass. It will end and you will get better.
And the way it’s going to get better is NOT overnight, but over the course of months and years as a result of a constant commitment so small daily improvements.
I know you want to change your life and you want to change it NOW, but be patient.
Commit to the long game. Improve your health, finances, and relationships by only 1% a day.
Engage in small daily action and over the next 1–2 years your life will transform before your very eyes.
Step 4: Laugh your butt off
When life gets hard, we often stop prioritizing laughter and play.
It makes sense right?
Life sucks so why would we want to be laughing or act happy? Well… You want to laugh because life isn’t going well right now.
I’ve found from personal experience that watching stand up comedies and binging on funny Netflix shows is one of the best ways to pull myself out of a rut and get back my enthusiasm for life.
Laugh until your stomach hurts everyday and I promise things will get better.
Step 5: Commit to a goal and follow the 5-step success formula
I don’t know you and I don’t know how your life is “Falling apart” but I do know that whatever is going wrong can be turned around.
If your finances, health, relationships or a combination of all three have been thrown in the gutter, then you need to set a concrete goal for yourself to fix the situation using the five step success formula.
- Make a plan: Write out what you will do and why you will do it
- Get professional accountability: Hire a coach, call up a friend you respect, or use a website like this one and get someone keeping you accountable for your actions
- Get social support: Find people who love you and care about you and ask for their help. Or just put a post up on Facebook
- Find an Incentive: Pick a reward for yourself when you accomplish your goal. For example if your goal is to get out of debt, your reward could be a dream vacation, an expensive dinner, or a night on the town with your buddies
- Set a deadline: And give it everything you’ve got until you hit it.
This formula is simple … But it works.
If you will implement these five pillars of success and apply them to your goal, you will be able to turn your life around in record time.
Step 6: Reconnect with old friends and family members
Desperation breeds isolation.
This then breeds further desperation and the vicious cycle continues.
As soon as you find yourself slipping into a negative state or a period of desperation IMMEDIATELY stop what you’re doing and connect with 5 people you care about.
Call up old friends, stop by your parent’s house, connect with someone who cares about you.
By rebuilding your social support network you will take a powerful step towards getting your life back on track.
Step 7: Relax and take a page from Bob Marley
Don’t worry … About a thing … ‘Cuz every little thing … Gonna be alright.
Ok, ok, I’ll stop.
You can’t take life too seriously. Because, at the end of the day, no matter how badly you mess up or how gloriously you succeed, we’re all headed to the same place (wherever that is).
100 years from now, you’ll probably be dead.
All of the things you care about now won’t matter.
And this is a freeing thought.
At the end of the day, you only have one life to live. So why waste even a second of it lamenting the past and living in a negative state.
You have a choice to be happy right now. Even while your life is falling apart.
So stop worrying.
Put in the work, of course.
But realize that, when it’s all said and done, the only thing that really matters is whether or not you made the most of your time here on earth.
Did you laugh? Did you enjoy yourself? Did you have fun?
If yes, then you succeeded.
If not then it’s time to step up, go after what you want, and live your dream life.
I hope this helps.
Stay strong, Be grounded.
This article first appeared on Medium.