7 things no one tells you about dating someone less driven than you

Of course, you and your partner don’t need to share all the same hobbies or have all the same interests. You don’t even need to have all the same values, as your differences are what help to challenge one another. Dating someone who doesn’t care about their career as much as you, however, can be difficult.

When you’re romantically involved with someone who doesn’t care so much about their career, and you do, it’s inevitable that you’ll experience a lot of other differences, as well. Here are seven hard truths.

1. They may not be your biggest motivator

A true career person will make for a solid motivator, as they care deeply about their own career success and work hard to achieve it. Being around someone who works so hard to reach their own personal goals can be hugely inspiring. But dating someone who doesn’t care about their career as much as you can, in turn, leave you feeling uninspired, as well.

2. They may prioritize other things over work

While you may find yourself prioritizing work over other things in your life, your partner may not. This may cause complications, as they may not understand why you choose to prioritize work over date night, perhaps, while they wouldn’t choose to work.

3. They may not understand your workplace stresses

If you’re dealing with stress at work, and you want to talk to your partner about it, they may not be the best person in whom to confide. That’s because they may not totally understand your workplace stress, chalking it up to just a job. But, for someone who cares a lot about that job, you know all too well that it’s not just a job — it’s perhaps even part of your identity.

4. They may not be the best conversationalists about work

Likewise, your partner may not be the best person to have conversations with about work. Conversations are two-way streets, and if you talk about your day in the office and your career goals and the issues that your company is currently tackling and so on, your partner may not feel like talking about their workdays, career goals, company politics or anything else in return. This can make conversation fall flat and, without healthy conversation, a relationship can feel dull.

5. They may not want to attend your work events

While your work events may be important to you, your partner may not understand why. As such, they may not see the significance in attending your work events as your plus one.

6. They may have different values

It’s probable that, if you prioritize work and your partner doesn’t, you share a few different values with regards to money, household responsibilities, childbearing, etc. Whatever the case, being on the same page or at least truly respecting each other’s differences is critical.

7. They may have different expectations

Because your partner may have different values as you, they may expect you to be home more often caring for children and keeping up with the house, disagreeing that you should be spending so much time at work. Or they may prefer to stay home more often, since they care less about work, which can be helpful or, in turn, cause resentment. Setting expectations upfront and being clear about how you both plan to balance work and life is important.

A version of this post previously appeared on Fairygodboss, the largest career community that helps women get the inside scoop on pay, corporate culture, benefits, and work flexibility. Founded in 2015, Fairygodboss offers company ratings, job listings, discussion boards, and career advice.