Wanna know whether you have a winning mindset? Pay attention to your self-talk. “Words create worlds,” says non-violent communication coach Liesbet Bickett.
According to her, the way you speak to yourself is much more honest than the way you speak to others — and it provides clues into the unconscious beliefs that rule your career. “Our self-talk is a consequence of our past life experience while simultaneously creating our future life experience. When we continue to allow our self-talk to exist without examining it and questioning it, we continue to be driven by unconscious stories that limit us.”
Mindset coach and speaker Hani Cheng shared a powerful example of the power of self-talk: Two of her clients applied very similar strategies and work efforts towards their business goals. One generated $500 of income in a month and the other earned $24,000 in a single week.
Quite a stark difference, right? Regardless of your career objectives or industry, paying attention to your inner dialogue — all the thoughts about yourself you automatically experience throughout the day — can help you tap into your next level of success. Start incorporating the five phrases below in your self-talk for a career upgrade.
“Success is a feeling. I feel it now.”
Being goal-driven is important. But you don’t want to be so fixated on the outcome that you’re unable to find satisfaction in the present moment. Why? If you can’t enjoy the journey, you’re probably not going to be fulfilled once you reach the destination. Plus, you’ll be able to be much more productive if you’re in a positive state — reminding yourself that you’re not where you want to be might drive you temporarily but it’s also a recipe for exhaustion.
“This is an important way to reframe your mind to focus on the positive side of success so you can make the journey to it more easy and joyful. It helps destress and reduce anxiety and impatience,” says Cheng.
“This is an opportunity to learn.”
The next time you find yourself focusing on something that didn’t go your way and beating yourself up for it, try shifting your inner talk towards silver linings. Bickett says finding learning opportunities helps keep you in a forward mindset: “By focusing on what I can create instead of what I didn’t create, I stay in the mindset of success, focusing on what opportunities exist. Each stumble makes me stronger and wiser, giving more tools with which to manifest success,” she says.
“I deserve to receive value for the gifts, talents, and value that I provide.”
Cheng shared this affirmation as a reminder you are worthy of getting rewarded for your hard work. It is estimated that 70% of the U.S. population has wrestled with impostor syndrome, which can play a huge role in feeling worthy of that raise or promotion and negotiating appropriate compensation for it. So the next time you feel inclined to undercharge for your work out of guilt or a fear of being told no, use your self-talk to remember you deserve to receive value for the value you provide.
“What does this tell me about what matters to me?”
“Self-awareness is the foundation for highly effective leaders. It’s the structure that all components of emotional intelligence are built on. When I connect with what matters to me, I increase my self-awareness and am connecting to my power to create what matters to me,” says Bickett.
Follow the trail of your reactions, because it will lead you to develop a greater understanding of your personal and professional values, which can only help you create a more rewarding career.
“What actually happened?”
When we feel strong negative emotions or others upset us, Bickett emphasizes the importance of staying objective: “Assumptions and judgments create boundaries which limit possibilities. Leaders need to be able to step away from their stories about what’s happening and see objectively what’s happening. By doing so, they are able to see the infinite possibilities which exist. Also, when they are able to look at a situation objectively, they create the space to hear and work with divergent perspectives.”
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