If you’re feeling stuck trying self-care tips that just don’t seem to be clicking, you might need a little brain rewiring to help you get back to a homeostatic level of happiness.
Luckily, there are four things you can do right now to go from a crabby grouch to happy as a clam.
1. Go to therapy
The first way to be happier that’s substantiated by medical science is probably the most difficult for some: go to therapy.
The Science of Psychotherapy has amalgamated a series of studies that prove the effectiveness of psychotherapy in particular through neuroscience, and despite naysayers, there are dozens of ways that therapy activates the brain.
From the Rotman Research Institute’s 2004 findings on CBT aiding cortical-limbic pathways for patients with depression to the 2007 study from the University of Toronto about increased brain glucose metabolism due to CBT, therapy is proven to forge neural pathways, increase processing speeds, and most importantly, provide lasting symptom relief.
Scientists everywhere from India to London are talking about how therapy rewires the brain to aid in one’s recovery from stresses both large and small – so put the stigma on the backburner, stop impeding your potential happiness, and go find someone to talk to.
2. Stop trying
The elite members-only neuroscience cohort Lab of Misfits recently conducted a study on the best way for your brain to achieve happiness. Their answer? Just stop trying so hard to be happy.
In a brief of the study done by Neuroscience News, it’s reported that researchers collected data by asking participants what they hoped their life’s purpose would be, and “happiness” seemed to be the most popular answer.
However, when researchers asked them how the past year of their lives had gone, in general, this group “experienced not only less joy, but also less fulfillment, as well as creativity,” along with “more stress, loneliness, and anxiety than others.” They felt “much less aligned with their purpose and goal, and were more disorganized, critical, less dependable, and reserved.”
However, those who chose “authenticity” as their life’s purpose rather than “happiness” tended to respond better to the troubling events of 2020; “more than half even said that they were living in a way that supported their purpose even more,” and at large, they were more “extroverted, sympathetic, open, and less anxious than average.”
Lab of Misfits notes that this phenomenon is due to something called “the predictive brain;” researchers at Oxford identified this as the human ability to “estimate, in advance, whether they are likely to happen.” This includes “things happening around them (“external chance”)” and “their own chances of success at a task even before they try it (‘internal chance’).”
When one puts such a large stake in their own happiness, going so far as to make it their life’s goal, little events that would be mildly disappointing to someone else become cuts at the very core of what the happy-obsessed want to do and be with their lives.
“When we are disappointed,” Neuroscience News explains, “our brain registers it as pain, and often the pain of disappointment is more acute than that which is induced physically (this is due to the release of endorphins from physical pain).” So those who are fixated on trying to be happy might just be causing themselves more pain.
3. Get a furry friend – or a FurReal Friend
Another happiness hack is to find something cuddly and pet it — especially if it’s a robot.
Lots of research has been done to confirm that having a pet will reduce one’s stress levels, facilitating a longer, happier life. But a study from Ben-Gurion University measured the human response to a fluffy, cuddle Japanese seal robot named PARO, simply to judge if a human’s level of oxytocin fluctuated when communing with an animal-like creature. The answer was yes: those who pet PARO were happier.
“Typically,” the study says, “oxytocin, sometimes called “the love hormone,” is elevated among romantic partners or mothers playing with their children… However, more recent studies have shown that outside of close relationships, oxytocin production is a stress indicator and therefore, a reduction could indicate relaxation.”
Among the group of participants that met PARO the robot seal, “there was a decrease in pain ratings and in oxytocin levels and an increase in happiness ratings” compared to the control group. Touching PARO also yielded a “larger decrease in pain ratings,” and “correlated with the participants’ positive perceptions of the interaction with PARO.”
However, you’ll need to have a good imagination to get the biggest benefits from PARO, as “participants with higher perceived ability to communicate with PARO experienced a greater hypoalgesic effect when touching PARO.”
The study proves that “human-robot social touch is effective in reducing pain ratings, improving mood and, surprisingly, reducing salivary oxytocin levels in adults.” So if you have allergies or children that prevent you from getting a real pet, a FurReal Friend would work just as well – or a little robot companion like Vector.
4. Remember the happier times
Brain researchers at the University of Cambridge have discovered that a great way to stay happy is to remember when you were happy, especially if you’re feeling down.
This 2019 study analyzed data from over 400 young people, most of which have a predisposition to depression. Baseline cortisol levels were measured in the mornings, along with negative self-related thoughts. They were prompted with one particular word and were asked to recall a memory that had to do with that word. After doing this consistently, their cortisol levels were measured again one year later.
The study ultimately finds that “recalling specific positive memories from an earlier point in life,” otherwise known as reminiscing or nostalgia, “was associated with fewer negative self-related thoughts and lower cortisol levels 12 months later.” Additionally, reminiscing about the good times “reduced vulnerability to depression over the course of one year.”
However, this may not work for those already enjoying their lives in the present. Thinking about these positive past events, the study noted, “only reduced negative self-related thoughts and depressive symptoms in response to stressful life events.”
If no stressful life events were occurring, and the levels of cortisol in one’s bloodstream were not elevated, reminiscing had no effect.