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4 steps to getting anything you want in life

“Don’t wish it was easier wish you were better. Don’t wish for less problems wish for more skills. Don’t wish for less challenge wish for more wisdom.” — Jim Rohn

1. Develop rare and valuable skills

In the book, SO GOOD THEY CAN’T IGNORE YOU: Why Skills Trump Passion in the Quest for Work You Love, Cal Newport debunks the myth of “pursuing your passion.”

Can you have passion in your life? Absolutely.

But healthy passion is just like confidence — you have to earn it. It is never compulsive.

Passion and confidence are both byproducts of living a good life, of making good choices, and accomplishing personal goals.

Most people are seeking the wrong emotional experiences.


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It’s not “passion” you want. Passion just brings the whole experience to a higher level.

What you really want is satisfaction with what you’ve done. You want to look back and be proud of what you’ve done. You want to watch yourself expand as a person. You want to watch yourself do incredible things. Put simply, you want freedom and you want connection.

How can you not experience passion through this process? How can you not experience confidence?

Most people are self-absorbed. They want work that makes THEM happy — and most never get success or happiness as a result.

Instead of seeking you’re own success — develop a “craftsman mentality” where you develop rare and valuable skills through deliberate practice. Develop true mastery at what you do. Become world-class.

The craftsman is focused on what they can give to the world. It’s so much better to give. Getting outside of your own head is where you find true clarity. Helping other people along their path furthers you along your own.

Once you’ve developed rare and valuable skills, you’re now in a rare position to chart your own path.

You don’t need to apply for jobs.

You don’t need to worry about “gate-keepers.”

You’re your own gate-keeper.

Your “security” is not in anything external — like a job, a paycheck, a college degree, societal expectations. Your “security” is internal. You trust yourself. You have confidence. You’re in alignment with your core values. You are connected to your higher power. You’ve developed your routines and practices for making magic happen in your life. You collaborate with your environment to further your progress. You’ve developed emotional and social intelligence, and thus, can connect quickly and deeply with anyone — Because it’s not about you, but them and you. You’re not trying to escape, but connect.

2. Invest in yourself, your relationships, and your dreams

How do you go from dreamer to doer? You start putting your money where your mouth is.

It’s seriously that simple.

When you start putting money toward your skill development, your skills begin to increase 10X.

You probably won’t develop “rare skills and abilities” without investing large amounts into yourself.

People don’t become Olympians on their own. They have coaches, mentors, and a host of other people helping them. As the brilliant entrepreneur Michael Fishman has said, “Self-made is an illusion. There are many people who played divine roles in you having the life that you have today. Be sure to let them know how grateful you are.”

There is a lot of time, money, and attention into developing mastery. Not everyone has a lot of money in the beginning. But as Seth Godin has said, “Money is a story.” If you don’t believe you can have money, you’ll continue to live low-level principles that bring about poverty in mind and money.

Dr. David Hawkins has said “The unconscious will allow us to have only what we believe we deserve. If we have a small view of ourselves, then what we deserve is poverty. And our unconscious will see to it that we have that actuality … ”

What are the fastest ways to change your subconscious story about money?

  • Start giving more of your money away — even if it’s small in the beginning
  • Invest your money in your own personal development (even if that just starts with books)
  • Invest money in other people — key relationships (even if this starts small)

Some of the best “mentorships” you’ll have in the beginning are not in-person. They’ll be books you read and courses you take. You may spend a few hundred dollars over a few years. Although not a lot of money — you’ll begin to see huge benefits in that investment. You’ll begin to yield a 10X transformation in your mindset.

Eventually, you’ll start paying for live mentoring. That will also start small. You may invest a few hundred dollars for a 30–60 minute phone call. Although it may seem inconsequential, this act will change your mindset 10X.

You’ll be seeking access.

You’ll be seeking direct information.

And that seeking will begin to make a huge difference, because as Rumi said, “What you seek is seeking you.”

Are you catching this?

What once were thoughts in your head are now you spending money are bringing the world you want to you. You’re bringing your key mentors to you. You’re bringing your key information and skills to you.

You’re bringing it to you.

In the amazing book, WRITE IT DOWN MAKE IT HAPPEN: Knowing What You Want And Getting It, Dr. Henriette Anne Klauser explains the magic of writing down your goals and dreams.

When you write stuff down — especially in the PAST TENSE, as though it already happened, something happens inside of you.

You live far more in alignment with your dreams.

On nights where I write down: I woke up and wrote an amazing article (speaking in PAST TENSE about TOMORROW MORNING) … I wake up and write an article.

On days I don’t do that, I’m far less likely to write.

You can live your life with confidence.

You can come to expect amazing things to happen for you.

The combination of investing more and more money into yourself, your relationships, and your dreams, as well as writing down in DETAIL the completion of your dreams is hard to beat.

When you start investing money in yourself and your relationships … money will come to you. The money story in your head will change.

You’ll start writing in your journal with confidence: I’M WEALTHY.

You won’t be afraid to write down specific and BIG amounts of money that you’ll earn. And you’ll continually watch as more and more money comes your way. Because you’re developing better and rarer skills, investing in the right relationships, and making important stuff happen.

For you, it’s not even about the money.

Money is a vehicle.

You’re not working for money, you’re making money so you can do more and better work.

In the book, THE ONE MINUTE MILLIONAIRE, Mark Victor Hansen and Robert G. Allen say:

“Giving as you get acknowledges the Universe as truly abundant. Giving taps into the spiritual dimension that multiplies us, our thinking, and our results. The Enlightened Millionaire knows this: There is an ocean of abundance and one can tap into it with a teaspoon, a bucket, or a tractor trailer. The ocean doesn’t care.”

When you invest in yourself, your money story changes. You realize that money isn’t a finite thing. You realize that there isn’t just one pie that we are all fighting for. You realize that you can make more pies. You become an innovator.

Which brings me to:

3. Be a giver, not a taker, once you’ve invested yourself in the right relationships

“You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help other people get what they want.” — Zig Ziglar

I’ve been part of several high-level masterminds. At this point, I’ve spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to be part of select groups, or to get specific mentorships. I didn’t come from money — none of my parents have much. I just invested nearly everything I’ve made back into myself — even when I was making less than $1,000 per month. And those investments 10X’d in money back to me very quickly. From small amounts to big ones. It’s having a vision for your future and knowing you’ll get it. Again, security is internal. Faith is power.

Unfortunately, I see the same things from most people, even at this level. They’re trying to get an immediate return on their investment.

That’s not how you go 10X.

This is the equivalent of buying a book for $25 and saying to yourself the whole time you’re reading the book — “Alright, where’s my $25 back?”

That’s not how you take an investment and make it much, much bigger.

What you do when you invest yourself in relationships is:

  1. Seek to be in a specific environment with certain types of people where ideas can pollinate and collaborate
  2. Give your rare skills and abilities in service to the right people (ideally the people who you want to MENTOR YOU)

Yes, the best way to advance yourself quickly is to GIVE YOUR BEST WORK to your ideal mentors — usually for free! Actually, you often PAY THEM to help them.

This logic doesn’t make sense to most people.

Pay someone to work for them? Yes!

When you pay someone AND THEN HELP THEM, crazy stuff starts happening. When you start being more giving with your money, your skills, and your time — to the right people — the money story in your head changes completely.

You realize you can have what you want.

The world will continually give you what you need.

Whoever you need access to, you can get access to. And not just “access,” but an intimate and deep mentorship and connection. You’ll quickly see that those you were helping become your biggest advocates. All of a sudden, you have a world-class network and limitless opportunities.

It’s at this point that you really need to gut-check your values. The reason you succeeded this much isn’t because you were seeking “success” directly. You believe in what you’re doing. You’re a convert to your own method. You’re not just looking for a quick win or trying to be “successful.”

Keep things in perspective.

4. Make the right asks — and get above the line of “super credibility”

“Rainmakers generate revenue by making asks. They ask for donations. They ask for contracts. They ask for deals. They ask for opportunities. They ask to meet with leaders or speak to them over the phone. They ask for publicity. They come up with ideas and ask for a few minutes of your time to pitch it. They ask for help. Don’t let rainmaking deter you from your dream. It’s one of the barriers to entry, and you can overcome it. Once you taste the sweet victory of a positive response, you’ll not only become comfortable with it, you might even enjoy it. But making asks is the only way to bring your dream to life.” — Ben Arment

Most people ask for help way too soon.

You want to make your asks ABOVE THE LINE OF SUPER CREDIBILITY.

In the book, BOLD: How to Go Big, Create Wealth and Impact the World, Peter Diamandis and Steven Kotler explain that if you want to do something big, you need credibility.

You need to be believable.

If you want to get on a big podcast, you can’t just pitch yourself. You need someone whose already been on the podcast to pitch you.

Peter Diamandis wanted to start XPRIZE to revolution the space industry. He spent several years getting billionaires and astronauts on board with his plan, so that when he presented his plan, it was believable.

It wasn’t only credible. It was SUPER CREDIBLE.

When you develop rare and valuable skills, and have invested big in the right relationships — you’ll be able to make big asks. Then, the people you’ve invested in will actually make the asks for you, and it will be so much more powerful coming from them.

This article originally appeared on Medium.

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