I thought it was going to be a normal update call. I thought I was going to hear a little bit of interesting news about how our project was moving forward. Let’s just say I got all of that and more, way more. My face was already in my hands crying by the time I hit end on my phone screen.
Not because the news was bad, but because I wasn’t expecting it. I didn’t see this coming. And for a project I cared about deeply, it was not exactly how I would have picked it all to go. But I got wrapped up in my head, about how this wasn’t the plan, and about all of the things that would be different because of the new direction. I wallowed in 24 good straight hours of freaking the fuck out.
Look at the bright side my friend said to me. And then proceeded to list out the seven different ways that this could be a really, really great thing. Like a spectacularly good thing. Like maybe the best of both worlds pre- and post-curveball.
So lesson number one: call your most positive friend for the bright side that you know you’ll get from her
I responded to that friend with But this wasn’t how it was supposed to go. I realized though that the more we resist the change, the more friction we cause for ourselves. Because we cannot cannot cannot control how and when things happen. The more we think we can, the more frustration we’re bound to experience.
So lesson number two: lean into change
It’ll help you get closer to the bright side quicker.
I guess this isn’t the worst thing, I said to myself once I calmed down, and proceeded to come up with two different scenarios that could have been way worse in order to make myself feel better. Most times curveballs aren’t the worst. They’re simply a changeup you didn’t see coming. So if it’s not the worst thing, then don’t act like it is just because it wasn’t your exact plan or timeline.
Lesson number three: don’t get apocalyptic about curveballs
And remind yourself this isn’t the end, this is just the change.
You’re bound to get curveballs thrown your way, simply because you’re alive. Sometimes things will march according to plan, but most times they won’t. You won’t see them coming, but you do have full ownership over what magic you get to create with them. Often a change of plans is what’s needed to get to exactly where we need to be.