3 thoughts that are holding you back from everything you want in life

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Raise your hand if you spend your time stuck in the past reviewing all that went wrong today, yesterday, or maybe even your entire life? How about time spent in the future hoping, dreaming, and wishing that people, things, or events were different than they are? Yes, I see you. Any time spent out of the present moment is time spent creating everything you don’t want. So why do we do it? Our thoughts, beliefs and actions will lead us to where we are now.  We can create change by identifying what our core beliefs are and transforming our belief systems.

I’ve been trained to start with noticing where we are holding our trauma in the body first and then re-programming the mind—learn more on my Emotional Reset Method—yet awareness is still key. I have seen thousands of people reclaim their lives to create what they truly desire in their lives. I recently worked with three completely different women struggling with the same core thought patterns. Whether male or female, these three thought patterns will destroy the chance of creating your desires. Read on to learn what they are and how you can turn it around.

1. “I feel like if I let go, something bad will happen.”

Imagine holding a balloon and then squeezing it as tight as you can. That balloon is going to fight you on it. It’s most likely not going to pop unless you poke it with a sharp nail or object. It’s just going to resist you until you’re frustrated, exhausted and let go. Nothing bad happens, it just isn’t going to change anything.

This goes for life, people and events as well. The more you control something, the more it will control you. More importantly, expecting something “bad” will only increase the chance of you unconsciously creating the “bad”. It is when you release your expectations that you can open to all that’s possible.

The Fix: Experiment with letting go, and setting yourself free. Until you try it, you‘ll never know what is possible.

 2.I feel guilty going and doing my own thing.”

Katie is a wife, mom, daughter and owner of a successful small business. She wakes up every morning to make breakfast for her husband and girls before running off to work to be available for her staff, then she picks up the girls after school, checks in with her aging mom to be of any assistance she needs, and gets the household ready for dinner along with anything necessary to get done before taking on the next day. For the last three months, she has been feeling a sense of guilt for her desire to start photography classes and fulfill an inner creative calling. As we dialed in on the core root of her pain, she stated, “I feel guilty going and doing my own thing.” Can you relate?

Ignoring our desires and stuffing them down will eventually spiral into anger, resentment and ultimately, a life lived with regret. Any desire that we feel from our heart is meant to show us our own unique path to fulfillment. The more you ignore it, the more unfulfilled you will be.The more you listen and follow, the more inner peace, joy and fuel you will feel and have to share with the ones you love.

The Fix: Ask yourself, “do I want to live with regret or do I want to inspire myself and others with my gifts?” Write down what those gifts are that you want to share. Then start actively working towards making that change.

3. “ I am ___”

Take seven days to write down any words you say on a daily basis that precede the words “I am.” This is what you believe about yourself (and sometimes what you believe about everyone else). Is your mind saying, “I am happy” or is it saying, “I am so mad”?  You choose your state.

The Fix: Keep a running list in the note section on your phone and at the end of the week, take the negative statements and re-frame into the positive. State the positive statements each morning until you feel the change. This is who you really are. You’re welcome.

This article originally appeared on Create and Cultivate.