21 tiny things that build major trust with people

I’m starting to sniff out those but I totally can’t trust you vibes a mile away. Mainly because I want to be around people who teach me how to be better.

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If you don’t have trust, you don’t have much…especially when it comes to the relationships with your people. Trust the connective tissue that keeps the beauty deepening.  It’s how you find new levels of knowing each other. Of loving each other. Of supporting.


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I’m starting to sniff out those but I totally can’t trust you vibes a mile away. Mainly because I want to be around people who teach me how to be better. Who teach me how to be more there…to be more trusting…to be more supportive…to be more of the person you can count on. I won’t be perfect at those things. I’ll screw it up for sure (I have before, and I will again). But being around people who exemplify trust alongside their love – time and tiny time again – shows us how to be more of the same. Here’s what I’ve noticed. Here’s where I’m trying:

  1. They do the things they said they were going to do. Like sending you that link or bringing over that book.
  2. They save you a seat.
  3. They don’t talk shit.
  4. They ask things like, “Have you talked to them about how you’re feeling?”
  5. They remember the dates. Or the names.
  6. They ask questions about things you’ve mentioned.
  7. They might have to change plans, but they rarely flake.
  8. They’re generally on time.
  9. They aren’t a wildly open book until you get to know them.
  10. They admit mistakes.
  11. They don’t shy away from the hard conversations. They hold space for them.
  12. They don’t tell you other people’s business.
  13. They do things even when it’s not convenient.
  14. They’ll share…their chocolate. their wine. their banana bread.
  15. They listen. Actively. Not on their phones listening but eye-contact listening.
  16. They’ll get up to get something for you.
  17. They tell you when lipstick is on your teeth.
  18. They do thoughtful things for no reason.
  19. They validate what you’re feeling. Rather than trying to solve it.
  20. They’re honest. With love.
  21. They have your back behind your back.

Trust is built in tiny moments. It’s also eroded in small moments, too. But our people are so core to our lives. And our trust is so core to our people.

This article originally appeared on Maxie McCoy.


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