20% of people in this profession have uncovered their clients’ affairs

The Fanatic, a film written and directed by the auteur that graced us with Nookie back in 2000, details the unraveling of a psychopath obsessed with a Hollywood elite. The gripping dumpster fire comes to a  crescendo when the high profile actor’s affair with his gardener produces unforeseen consequences for our hero… who’s named Moose. Though intensely dramatic, this aspect of the film may, in fact, be the most realistic one according to a new study from our friends over at Lawnstarter.

“As it turns out, the job isn’t nearly as dull as people think it is. Like any other line of work, lawn care has its curve balls. Now, thanks to our study on the profession, we have a good idea of what sort of shenanigans lawn care professionals encounter while on the job,” explains the study’s author Logan Freedman. The new report revealed that 10% of respondents got attacked by wild animals, 20% witnessed their bosses having affairs, and an additional 21% were even propositioned to enter a physical relationship themselves and about that many agreed.

Green for green, grass for grass

Just about 40% of homeowners hire lawn care workers a year, among these the average tip amount is somewhere between $10 and $20, with Minnesota, Colorado, and Kentucky dishing out on the higher end of the spectrum. Incidentally, the much hotter California and Flordia proved to be the most parsimonious.

More than this though, one in five respondents discovered narcotics while trimming hedges. “Not surprisingly, marijuana is the most common illegal substance found on a client’s lawn, making up over 57% of all such instances. Heroin pulls in at second place at 26.3%, and crack-cocaine in third at 10.53%,” said Freedman.

Saw it through the grapevine

An additional 20% caught their respective clients having an affair while on the clock and over a fifth engaged in a little complementary hedging themselves. A less fortunate 10% got canine teeth instead, with one in five violent dog encounters requiring medical attention.

“Lawn care is a serious business, and the professionals who work on the field have seen a lot while on the job. Knowing all this, the value of a well-kept lawn cannot be overstated,” concludes Freedman.