Our favorite people. We love them. We look up to them. We laugh loudly with them. And they inspire us. Deeply. But that inspiration falls flat if you don’t do anything about it. What better way to honor your favorite people than by doing something to better yourself in honor of their existence.
I’ve been reflecting on the person I want to be. The person I want to show up as. Not the person who has done X, Y, and Z, because screw that. I know I can achieve. But who can I BE in the moments … can I be the person who inspires someone else? Can I be the person that makes someone feel both deeply loved as they are while encouraging them to expand into more? Can I be the person that gives back to my community? Can I be the person that stands for herself first, so she can stand for others next? And what will it take to become her?
“I’ve been inspired to become my own favorite person,” I said after exploring some meaningful changes I’ve made recently in my own life. And I smiled. Because I’ve never really thought about that idea. But damn does it feel good to work to get there. Narcissism aside, being your own favorite person just means liking the company you keep. Alone for a day, or alone in your head for a minute, what’s it take to like being there with yourself? What’s required of being proud of yourself, of being humbled by yourself, of being in favor of yourself?
Sometimes and often, change comes from a place of painful truth. A place of reckoning that maybe you’re not where you want to be right now. Or maybe you’ve been prioritizing other people for too long. It’s not fun to be on the knees of your own despair to realize that you don’t actually dig this person you’re spending all this time with.
And when you face any version of that truth, there are a few things that have made a gentle but forceful difference for me …
Talking less shit. Not engaging in the gossip. And assuming (more goodwill). It’s what we’d hope people who love us would do when we’re not around. So let’s start by doing it for them.
And laughing easier. Sometimes loudly. Always freely.
Doing the things you said you would do. On time. Even if the only person you promised was yourself.
And getting in action on the stuff you’ve always wanted to do. Like involving yourself in your community. And writing that fiction novel.
Facetiming more. Sending voice memos often. And texting less. Because our energy is all of it.
And breaking those shitty habits. Acting like you want to attract. And just setting up the dang doctors appointments.
Hugging more and holding on longer. Writing intentionally. And letting enthusiasm lead.
And panicking less. Breathing with purpose. And letting doubt disappear.
Being your own favorite person requires more reading, less scrolling. More understanding, less judgment. More presence, less worry. And more self-compassion for all the moments you’re failing, floundering, and just figuring it all out, including yourself.
And to all my favorite people out there. I want to be this person because of you. You’re my favorite and I’m becoming my favorite, too.