Raising successful children means modeling and instilling values that lead to pursuing a career and life of satisfaction and happiness. For some that means climbing to the top of the organization, for others, it’s becoming a digital nomad, but for all, it means being confident in who they are and developing the skills to be excellent teammates, leaders, and partners.
For parents, there are nine things to do in order to give your kids the best leg-up you can.
Instill independence
In her book “How to Raise Successful People” Esther Wojcicki explains that independence is important not only to be a self-starter at work but to choose a professional path that makes them happy.
“Nobody is happily living a life that’s dictated by someone else. If there’s one thing I’ve learned as a mother and a teacher, it’s that kids of all ages need their independence,” she wrote.
What makes Wojcicki an expert on raising successful children? Well, you might have heard about one (or all) of her daughters:
- Susan Wojcicki, CEO of YouTube
- Anne Wojcicki, Co-founder and CEO of 23andMe
- Janet Wojcicki, Professor of Pediatrics at UC San Francisco
Praise kindness, effort, and grit
In other words, be sure that the praise you’re giving your children is for things that they can control. They can choose to be kind to another child, or hold a door open for someone else when you’re out. On the other hand, they can’t choose whether they’re cute (by society’s standards) or smart.
Let’s look at an example. You can say, “Wow! You really put in a lot of hard work to finish that report. Great effort!” But you don’t want to say, “Excellent job on that report. You’re so smart!” The first sentence praises effort, which any child can put in, while the second praises inherent intelligence, which not all children are born with.
Developmental psychology expert, Dr. Carol Dweck, has been researching how to raise successful children for years, and she often speaks about the difference between a growth mindset and a fixed mindset.
If you want your children to continue to grow, learn, and thrive in a world full of setbacks, then a growth mindset is key. One of her studies found that praising intelligence actually put kids into a fixed mindset, and as she explains, “The most astonishing thing to us was that praising intelligence turned kids off learning.
Working mothers keep working
Some situations dictate that both parents have to work. In others, a mother might choose to work. There’s no shortage of opinions on the matter. A recent Harvard study has shown that having a working mother actually led to better outcomes for children. All children of working mothers realized that gender roles have largely been eradicated, or at the very least have evolved from the mother always being cast as the housewife.
Daughters of working moms were more successful in their own jobs, with more of them moving into management or leadership roles. In addition, daughters of working moms in the US made up to 23% more than those whose mothers didn’t work outside the home.
Read to your kids every day
Studies have shown that reading to your children every day has a positive impact on their future success. In fact, one study showed that parents who read to kids and prioritized their education had children with lower rates of poverty in adulthood.
Helen Pearson, science journalist and author of The Life Project, wrote, “Children whose parents were reading to them daily when they were five and then showing an interest in their education at the age of 10 were significantly less likely to be in poverty at the age of 30 than those whose parents weren’t doing those things.”
Show lots of affection early
Feeling accepted for who they are starts when children are really small. Parents who show love and affection to their children are actually setting their children up for future success, above and beyond building a strong parent-child bond.
Scientific research shows that parental affection and warmth have the following benefits:
- Higher self-esteem
- Improved academic performance
- Better parent-child communication
- Fewer behavioral problems
Enroll them in sports
Getting kids involved in sports has nothing to do with pressuring them to be an MVP. In fact, sports teach children a whole host of important skills that easily translate to the classroom, boardroom, and beyond.
Research by Linda Pagani at the University of Montreal showed that there’s a correlation between a child’s attention span, self-control, and participation in organized sports. Belonging to a team with a common goal also appeared to foster some key skills for success.
“There is something specific to the sporting environment – perhaps the unique sense of belonging to a team to a special group with a common goal – that appears to help kids understand the importance of respecting the rules and honoring responsibilities,” Pagani wrote.
Let them make decisions
From choosing the games they want to play to decide on the family adventure on Sunday, letting children make the choice helps them begin to plan, problem-solve, and learn how to research (all key skills for academic and professional success).
Research by Dr. Rich Gilman shows that students who select their own structured school activities are 24% more likely to enjoy going to school. Giving their children a leg up on enjoying the process and seeing that learning can be fun is a crucial step that parents can take to securing their children’s future success.
Teach them to help with chores
This tip is nuanced. It’s not about rewarding children with an allowance or other rewards for doing their chores. Instead, it’s about teaching them to pitch in without being asked. Praising them for being helpful is a start, and showing them how you do the same with your spouse will help.
Parenting expert, Julie Lythcott-Haims, who’s the author of “How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success” explains how this translates to success in the workplace (or, rather, failure if you don’t teach them this):
Lythcott-Haims wrote,“We absolve our kids of doing the work of chores around the house, and then they end up as young adults in the workplace still waiting for a checklist, but it doesn’t exist. More importantly, they lack the impulse, the instinct to roll up their sleeves and pitch in and look around and wonder, How can I be useful to my colleagues?”
Model good study habits
We all know that multitasking is a myth, but what are we teaching our children if we’re parenting with our phones nearby? Or, working while distracted and teaching that model to our children unintentionally?
Studies have shown that phones are distracting (no surprise there). But what is surprising is that phones still pose a distraction to us when they’re in the same room and powered off. Studies also show that working/studying to your favorite tunes (with lyrics) undermine your focus.
When your kids get old enough to have homework, set up a quiet environment where they can work, distraction-free. That includes you! Phones away, TV off, and no music so that children learn to study early, and take those skills with them into higher education settings when they’re on their own.
Be a good boss to yourself
Is the Black Hole due to your resume?
What I read every day