Success is an Illusion: Here's What Really Matters

What comes to mind when you hear the word success? If it’s something along the lines of a big house, corner office, and more zeroes in your bank account than routing numbers, you’re certainly not alone. The notion that success in life is synonymous and solely dependent on climbing the corporate ladder and earning a hefty annual salary is ubiquitous in popular culture, from the movies and shows we watch to the countless influencers across social media encouraging their millions of followers to “rise and grind”.

There’s nothing wrong with prioritizing one’s career and aiming to earn six or seven figures, but there’s more to life than earning a promotion every other year. There is no real success if we measure it in dollars and cents, because there will always be someone with a larger office and bigger savings account.

There’s an old saying that goes “money can’t buy happiness,” but clearly most Americans nowadays have either forgotten that proverb or never heard it in the first place. While exact estimates vary, numerous surveys in recent years report the majority of Americans wholeheartedly believe more money does lead to greater happiness. On a related note, excessive stress to the point of breakdown among modern workers has never been more common, with the average employee reporting career burnout around the young age of 32. 

Chasing fulfillment via finances: A fool’s errand 

Still not convinced that chasing dollar signs will leave you feeling anything but successful? Fascinating research conducted at Harvard and the University of Buffalo found that when we prioritize financial success over everything else it usually results in feelings of loneliness and isolation.

While we all have to focus on our careers and providing for ourselves and our families to a certain extent, researchers explain putting money up on a pedestal turns into a real problem when an individual develops what is referred to as a Financial Contingency of Self-Worth. This phenomenon is characterized by basing one’s entire self-worth on the amount of money they have or are making. While that’s all well and good after a promotion, it can lead to feelings of absolute self-hatred in the event of any form of financial insecurity.

Similarly, yet another study published in the scientific journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin found that people who base their identities solely around their careers and finances are more likely to unfairly compare themselves to others, feel as though they are not in control of their lives, and report feelings of stress and anxiety.

This holds true even among the highest ranking executives and bosses. The Harvard Study of Adult Development has tracked up to three generations of participants in pursuit of what constitutes a “meaningful existence”. Well, tracked subjects with the highest salaries and loftiest corporate titles weren’t found to be any happier than anyone else.

Money can help improve our lives in near endless ways, but even a trillion dollars in the bank won’t be enough to buy a true friend or rewind time and attend all of those parties, events, and family milestones you missed out on while you were “succeeding” in your career. 

Happiness leads to success, not the other way around

So many working professionals these days tend to kick the can of their own happiness down the road just a bit further while they focus all of their energy on their jobs. “I’ll relax when I get that promotion” or “I’ll have time to see my friends next month, right now I need to focus on finishing this quarter on a strong note,” just to list a few examples.

In reality, though, chasing after success as a means of attaining true happiness is akin to running after a mirage in the desert. There will always be another deliverable or quarterly earnings report to finish, and you’re much more likely to work yourself miserable than anything resembling contentment. 

Interestingly, a number of studies actually tell us that, if anything, the relationship between happiness and career success works the other way around. Research published in the Journal of Happiness Studies tracked close to one million U.S. soldiers for five years, and the happiest soldiers ended up earning four times as many awards during that period in comparison to the unhappiest. Another earlier study released by the American Psychological Association came to similar conclusions, reporting chronically happy people tend to seek out more opportunities and find more success in all areas of life.

Of course, finding happiness can at times feel much more challenging than the biggest problems faced between nine and five. If you’re wondering how to cultivate a more positive outlook on life, consider the thought provoking findings of a study that assessed happiness among people living in both Bangladesh and the Solomon Islands (very low-income nations). Despite their poor surroundings in comparison to more modernized countries like the United States, locals reported high levels of happiness comparable to those seen among Scandivianians (usually seen as the happiest people in the world). 

What’s the locals’ secret to happiness? More time spent with family and contact with nature.

What really matters: The rocking chair test

So does all of this mean you should renounce your career and possessions and relocate to a remote island? Not necessarily. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to earn a lucrative salary. After all, money ensures a roof over our heads and food for our families. That being said, if you define your success solely by dollars earned, you’re missing the point.

Take a moment and imagine it’s your 95th birthday and you’re reflecting back on your life. Children, grandchildren, and even great grandchildren have come over to celebrate the big occasion, and everyone has gathered around your rocking chair. Ask yourself: What will your regrets be? What will you wish you had done differently? Chances are you won’t be thinking about anything related to business or money.

If your current position is leaving you feeling unfulfilled and overworked, it’s time for a change. Check out Ladders’ job search page to browse thousands of new opportunities.