“My colleague micro-manages my work 24/7”: Employees share their experience of workplace bullying

Working from home can be both a blessing and a curse. Many office environments provide the protection of community guidelines and expectations, as well as the watchful eyes of each employee, but working from home can be a different story. Remote work often gives colleagues an unwarranted peek into our homes and personal lives. In this new work environment, expectations can be blurred, and workplace bullying can happen.

These are 10 toxic examples of workplace bullying in the work from home environment — from employees just like you — and the ways they’ve combated it, below.

1. “My work from home setup wasn’t nice enough for my coworkers.”

The situation: When Sean’s office went fully remote, so did schools. His two quite rowdy, yet adorable young sons were home as well. Because of the learning and working environment for the rest of his family, Sean set up his office in the laundry room.

“I needed a relatively quiet place with a desk to set up my second monitor, etc.,” he explained. “I didn’t want to bring my work into my bedroom and I didn’t want to buy a new desk just for this. Luckily though, our decently sized laundry room had a built-in desk across the washing units where I could set up.”

Perfect, right? Until the office decided to start having Friday happy hours.

“For whatever reason, Sean working in the laundry room quickly became the butt of every joke,” said Sean. “It was always the first thing brought up on the weekly call, every week, and started expanding beyond that in other discussions.” He felt like he was overreacting and put up with it, but it started to affect his mood and attitude toward work.

The solution: Sean took matters into his own hands. He messaged a few of the colleagues who were leading the scapegoating and asked them to please stop. He continued to attend the happy hours but turned off his camera to participate. This led to more bullying, so he reached out to HR and stopped attending the weekly event. Eventually, the teasing stopped. Since then, Sean has upgraded the laundry room decor to avoid instances like this in the future. Assessing and asserting his boundaries have made it easier for him to continue to work in his space.

2. “I was mocked for wanting to do my job correctly.”

The situation: When the pandemic hit, many companies had a learning curve in different forms of digital payment and resource delivery.

“I was paying for supplies out of my own pocket,” shared Kendra, who was told she would be reimbursed since the company wasn’t financially impacted by the pandemic.

When she asked for feedback on her work and worried that she wasn’t providing enough benefits to the customer, she was brushed off and reassured everything was fine. A few weeks later, the inability to do her work at the capacity she could previously was giving her anxiety, and she approached her boss again. This time? She was flat-out mocked for wanting to do the work she was hired to do, and her boss lectured her about appreciating that everyone is having a tough time.

Stress can bring the worst out in people, but your superiors are not there to degrade or mock you. If you find yourself in a situation like this and HR is an accessible option, please utilize it. And do not let anyone dismiss your want to stay true to your work’s mission. You chose that company and that job for a reason, and you shouldn’t be made to feel small for wanting to do the work.

3. “My employer stopped paying us.”

The situation: In the midst of a pandemic, things can get messy. Some people don’t adapt to at-home life as quickly and miss-steps in work processes, payments can get diverted or delayed, and technology can often be a hindrance. Companies that didn’t enact empathy and weren’t being smart with their funding came out of the woodwork very quickly.

“My pay was incorrect for months and no matter how I explained – even with charts and calendars – I was wrong,” expands Janet, whose sixteen-person team went remote last March. “Patrons were lied to about where money was going since the employees took an unsolicited cut in pay.”

The solution: Unfortunately, nothing was solved in this particular situation until Janet resigned and signed a non-disclosure about the work environment. And sometimes, leaving is the only way to go.

4. “I was the target of a social media influencer.”

The situation: Samantha, a Paris-based freelance writer, had just finished a story for a pretty big outlet, following all branding and style guides, protocol, etc. Her piece passed through several hands and vetting situations before going to post, and she shared it widely as soon as it was published. Within the hour, a social media influencer who wasn’t featured in the piece was retaliating.

“It was overwhelming because my work was being mischaracterized, with a small portion taken out of context, and assigned a meaning that was completely unrelated to the topic at hand—and I was powerless to be heard or defend myself in any meaningful way.”

Undeterred by the negativity, Samantha worked with the team at her outlet to update the piece for clarity and respond to the influencer in a professional and honest way.

“Any time I attempted to respond — always civilly, politely, and in a non-confrontational way — she re-posted me to her stories and ridiculed me, fueling her followers to continually attack me, blame me, and try to disparage me publicly as well as to the outlet I was writing for.”

The solution: Had all parties been in a face-to-face environment, it wouldn’t have escalated to the degree it did. Samantha couldn’t eat and her interviews and additional work suffered. In a situation like this, always defer to the leaders of the project or company for verbiage clarity and options on how to move forward. In this case, Samantha was able to block the influencer — who she had no standing relationship with, to begin with — after multiple attempts to speak civilly and her working relationship with the outlet was undeterred.

5. “My manager single-handedly diminished my role.”

The situation: Grace was hired during the pandemic at a marketing agency that was still navigating work from home communication. After about two weeks of work, communication became impossible. The CEO had assigned her a manager to report to, and he became the issue.

“I don’t know if he didn’t like me from the beginning, or if the company decided they didn’t want to pay me what I was worth, but he became distant very quickly,” she explained. “I wasn’t CC’d on emails I should have been on, I would get a response to my emails every two weeks at most, and no one was assigning me new work.”

The solution: In situations like this, don’t retaliate. Reach out directly to other members of the team where appropriate to inquire about new work, so others can witness your eagerness. Assert your value and let your colleagues know you are available. Document everything, and approach HR or another trusted member of staff to take the next steps if the ice out behavior continues.

6. “I was teased for gaining weight.”

The situation: About six months into the pandemic, Kevin, an accounts manager for a marketing firm in Michigan, hopped on Zoom for a client status check-in. “Hey there, big boy!” the executive exclaimed with wide eyes when the screen went into focus. “Been taking advantage of the pandemic, have we?”

It is never okay to comment on anyone’s weight in any work environment. Unsolicited comments about looks can drastically affect a person’s confidence and ability to approach work and social environments. In this instance, Kevin took those comments to heart.

“I stayed off video calls for weeks, opting for audio and email options so people couldn’t see me. I agonized over food options, and beat myself up about not having access to a gym or space to work out as an immunocompromised individual in a pandemic.”

The solution: If you have the opportunity to do so, immediately call out anyone commenting on a colleague’s weight. Even casual reminders can be uncomfortable, but someone has to do it.

7. “My colleague micro-manages my work 24/7.”

The situation: Most jobs were not meant to operate on a 24/7 basis. During the pandemic, communication lines have been blurred, with people checking in at all hours of the day. Mackenzi, a web designer in San Diego, has been battling micro-management from a colleague since the pandemic started.

“She works in a different department, but she has access to my Asana workflows, so she can see what is getting completed and in what timeframe. For some reason, she decided to take it upon herself to check in on me multiple times a day on projects she knew nothing about.”

The solution: Mackenzi has spoken to her boss frequently about the issue, and the harassment has died down to “a few check-ins a week.” Hopes are that interaction dies down or completely stops.

8. “I was constantly berated for “not doing enough.”

The situation: Those blurred lines between work life and home life can really change the trajectory of your work. Some bosses already don’t know what their employees do, but working from home can make them more anxious for the delivery of results.

“My boss was emailing us no later than 6 am on Mondays, asking for deliverables she had requested at 3pm on Friday,” lamented Jeff, a marketing consultant from Tennessee. It’s like she expected us to work over the weekend and not establish the same boundaries as having a designated work environment allows. It was like a demotion for everyone.” Jeff’s boss held weekly calls and if her erratic expectations weren’t met, she would single out employees who tried to hold onto their existing boundaries.

The solution: Toxic bosses are not likely to take criticism, so approach HR if at all possible. Suggest casually to your colleagues to set work boundaries for themselves, and set “out of office” responses for your time off. Continuing to subtly reinforce boundaries while achieving fair and measurable goals is reasonable and I’ve found that it usually works.

9. “I was chastised for my natural hair.”

The situation: In her nine-year career leading up to the pandemic, Sandra had always done her hair and makeup, and tried to switch her outfits out often. A few months into her work from home setup, she decided to get a haircut that would better suit her curly hair and allow her to save time, money, and energy on styling her look.

Because her colleagues weren’t familiar with her natural hair texture, the first time they hopped on a video call after her style change, everyone asked her if she got a perm. When she explained that she didn’t, there was more disbelief than anything else. For months, her hair was the topic of conversation on calls and in work emails. People continued to question how natural the curl was, calling it dated, and telling Sandra how bored they were with her look.

The solution: Sandra approached her boss about having a few moments during a meeting to encourage people not to talk down to her like that. Her boss was thrilled, and apologized for not doing something about it sooner. Just three minutes of space to convey how demeaning some comments can be helped her to gain respect and encouraged a healthier working environment.

10. I was forced to go back to work in an unsafe environment

The situation: While varying cities have shut down and reopened at strange intervals and paces over the last year, many companies have rushed to get their employees back into the office with no real safety protocol or guidelines to make people feel comfortable. Take Chris, for example. Once COVID-19 restrictions were lifted in his area, he was immediately forced to go back to work. His job? An over-the-phone tech support specialist for a company that produces infrared saunas.

So, why was the entire company brought back into their close quarters at the same time, with no mask requirements or thoughtfulness toward the employees?

“They didn’t really make it clear why they want us all together,” Chris explained. “There’s no reason for most of us to physically be in the office right now, we have all been operating like a well-oiled machine from home during the pandemic. No one is wearing masks in the office, and I am one of few who has had their first vaccination. [The company] doesn’t believe in science.”

The solution: Chris isn’t the only one experiencing hesitation around going back to work during this time. Whether you work at a tech company whose superiors somehow don’t believe in science, or your boss wants to “live life to the fullest” and is passe about restrictions, you should never be put in a position that makes you uncomfortable at work. Speak up to HR, or kindly explain your feelings to your superiors, rather than staying quiet.

Moral of the story?

Office bullying — even while working remotely — isn’t uncommon. If you can relate, you’re, unfortunately, not alone. But remember: everyone deserves respect and fair treatment in the workplace. Stand up for yourself and what you believe in. You won’t regret it.