Avoide this common communication failure and help improve colleague interactions

While plenty of workplaces feature a resident loner or two, generally speaking we all want to be well liked. It’s human nature to crave social interaction and acceptance, and professional settings are no different. From workforce wellbeing to business bottom lines, an adversarial atmosphere amongst coworkers and colleagues isn’t good for anyone. 

Not everyone is going to like you, that’s just a fact of life. Still, noteworthy new research just conducted by the University of Georgia Terry College of Business points to a common communication tendency that may be giving your professional peers a negative impression of you. Read on to learn more.

Bragging is for the birds

It’s hardly a secret that openly bragging about good fortune or enviable developments in one’s life is considered uncouth. Modesty is always preferable to arrogance, and the same holds true in the workplace. An earlier, yet quite pertinent, piece of research published in the scientific journal Psychological Science found that people who “humble brag” around colleagues are often seen as “braggarts” and less likable in general.

Everyone wants to present the best version of themselves and put their best foot forward. Not to mention that when positive things happen, it’s understandable to want to share the good news. It’s worth remembering, however, that plenty of others in the office won’t be nearly as thrilled to hear about your good fortunes. Study authors add it’s common to overestimate others’ positive reactions to one’s own self-promotion. 

Not all that dissimilar to wearing a flashy outfit characterized by expensive brands to a job interview, or laughing at an unfunny joke from the CEO, subtly slipping into break room conversations that you just landed a big promotion or closed a six-figure deal will probably come across as more self-serving than anything resembling genuine to many onlookers.

Different type of brag, same result

Fast forward to the aforementioned newer study just published in the scientific journal Personnel Psychology, and scientists at UG are calling attention to an entirely different variety of bragging at work that may be landing countless professionals on the wrong side of their coworkers.

The research team explains that workers who tend to brag about being super busy, overworked, and stressed are frequently seen by their colleagues as both less likable and less competent. Feeling overwhelmed at work is something virtually everyone can relate to, but this research makes a strong case not to go overboard while venting about it. 

“This is a behavior we’ve all seen, and we all might be guilty of at some point,” says Jessica Rodell, lead author of the study and a professor of management in UGA’s Terry College of Business, in a university release.  “When I was wondering about why people do this, I thought maybe we are talking about our stress because we want to prove we’re good enough. We found out that often backfires.”

What is stress bragging?

“Stress bragging” as it’s been named by researchers, goes beyond simply stating it’s been a hectic day. Study participants were provided with a fictional statement from a hypothetical coworker who had just returned from a conference claiming the event had been “just one more thing on my full plate. And I was already stressed to the max … you have no idea the stress that I am under.” 

Across the board that fake colleague was rated by readers as significantly less likable and less competent in comparison to other fictional coworkers whose hypothetical statements simply said work had been stressful lately, or that the conference was a great time. Notably, participants were also less likely to say they would help the colleague with a stress-bragging statement if they needed assistance on the job.

“People are harming themselves by doing this thing they think is going to make them look better to their colleagues,” Prof. Rodell comments.

Stress bragging begets more stress all around

It’s also worth mentioning that further research put together by the team at UG even found that colleagues working closely with stress braggers frequently report higher stress levels and rates of burnout themselves. Why is this the case? Study authors speculate stress bragging can perpetuate a less-than-ideal perception among coworkers that constant anxiety and burnout simply comes with the territory of working for that particular company.

“When somebody is constantly talking about and bragging about their stress, it makes it seem like it is a good thing to be stressed,” Prof. Rodell explains. “It just spills over onto the co-worker next to them. They wind up feeling more stressed, which leads to higher burnout or withdrawal from their work. Think of it as this spiraling contagious effect from one person to the next.”

It’s always OK to be stressed, just don’t brag about it

To be clear, the main takeaway from this research should not be to hide feelings of burnout and stress on the job. Researchers say that talking about stress in less intense terms, and even appearing stressed while working, did not result in the same negative reactions from coworkers. Just consider your words carefully before boasting about how busy you are or how jampacked your work schedule is nowadays.

“It’s not the being stressed part that’s a problem. We found that if I perceive you as stressed, I actually see you as more competent. if you genuinely feel stressed, it’s OK to find the right confidant to share with and talk about it,” Prof. Rodell concludes. “But be mindful that it is not a badge of honor to be bragged about—that will backfire.”